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Tue, Aug. 26th, 2008, 09:22 am
this is why you should always pick chocolate

I bought a box of Weight Watchers muffins to eat for breakfast. They're supposed to be healthy, I guess, and they're a good size, and they were on sale. There's a McDonald's on the way to work so I am trying to avoid going there all the time (this will be relevant in a minute). I had bought the chocolate ones before but I bought caramel apple this time.

Big mistake.

Not only are they dry, but the "artificial caramel flavoring" is ridiculously strong and can be smelled from across the room. I only made it halfway through and I had to throw it away because it was just too dry. Now it is sitting in the wastebasket. Mocking me with its delicious fake sweet McGriddles smell. Reminding me that I could have gone to McDonald's and gotten a McGriddle and it would have been far better than nasty artificially flavored dry muffins. And I would have eaten the whole thing.

Sun, Jul. 6th, 2008, 04:08 pm
dear rtd, you suck

Have watched the season 4 finale of Doctor Who on YouTube. Am sad now. That is all. 

Mon, Apr. 7th, 2008, 10:00 pm
no i did not know!!! you suck!

So I'm talking to my sister on AIM, just wasting time, watching Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, hoping that they'd have another restaurant that I've been to so I can feel special. (I've been to Iron Barley, so good)  I like Guy Fieri. He seems like after a few drinks he might cross over the line to That Guy, but while on the show he's pretty funny and entertaining. He's very amiable. Tonight he was talking about a restaurant that does Mexican/Chinese/Jamaican/Cuban combo plates (I know, but they looked really good) and he casually namedropped one of his own restaurants: "Tex Wasabi's Rock-N-Roll Sushi BBQ". If you have watched the show you probably agree with Patrick and I that this is totally the name of one of Guy's restaurants. Well, I thought I'd mention it to my sister, as a random restaurant name that is amusing. The conversation went something like this:

Me: do you watch diners, drive ins, and dives on food network?
Her: no, i don't think i've seen it
it's this show where the host goes around to different restaurants, like on tour, he's at a mexican/chinese fusion place
anyways, the host is all, i know fusion from my restaurant tex wasabi's rock-n-roll sushi bbq, which is an awesome name
somebody told me that 
you do know that you've eaten tex wasabi's right?
they catered my wedding, they make pulled pork sushi
i've never eaten in the restaurant

Uh, NO I DID NOT KNOW THAT. Are you serious? So I lost my shit, and told her that was the guy on the Food Network, to which she responded "you know i ate with him right?"

NO I DID NOT KNOW YOU ATE WITH HIM. Dammit. I sent her a picture and we confirmed, that yes, before he won The Next Food Network Star, when Guy Fieri was still running his catering company and restaurants in California, my sister hired him to cater her wedding. The food was excellent except that the tuna was cooked through and not seared and this disappointed me. I never meet famous people. Dammit.

Thu, Feb. 21st, 2008, 07:31 am
better late than never, i guess

So this morning I woke up to the sound of sleet. It makes a nice soft hissing noise. Until you go out into it, then it's cold. I checked the internet, we still have school. So I get up and shower, and get ready, and go outside and scrape off my car. Which is useless because as I scrape, the ice just remelts to the windshield. So I turn the defrost on as high as it will go and work the wipers and drive slowly, because the roads aren't that great. Even then it's a losing battle with the ice and I consider pulling over to scrape the windshield again. Now I'm late, though, so I keep going. The highway isn't that great, but it's OK, until it backs up because people have spun out. Then I find that the car doesn't particularly want to stop and not slide. Luckily I didn't hit anyone because I slowed down way way back, letting me pump my brakes (stupid cheap car with no ABS). So I got off at Big Bend and I got past the bank with the big sign but not quite to the 7-11 yet, maybe 6 blocks or so. And I thought, you know, I should get my phone out in case someone tries to call or something. And as I was getting the phone out, it's ringing. Julie called and said Brentwood hadn't called her yet but KMOV had it listed as having school cancelled so that was good enough for her. Oh good, I can turn around and go home and go to bed. Brentwood called me about 5 minutes later. That was enough time to get back to the highway and see that in the 5 minutes since I was just there 2 more cars have spun out. AND someone spun out at the Kingshighway offramp, so that was fun to drive by and then sit at the red light at the top of a hill. Now I'm back home and none of our other districts have cancelled school so it's kind of nice to go by Brentwood's snow schedule. I bet the superintendent saw the number of accidents (or got in one himself, it's possible) and decided that even though it was 7am already and all the buses were already on the way no one else should come in. Patrick is off too, he might have gotten all the way to school. We were just talking about how even though he wants to have parent/teacher conferences at least calling off school today means that they don't lose yet another day of musical rehearsal, since they weren't going to have any anyways.

Thu, Jan. 10th, 2008, 06:26 am
Episode 7 Recap

New episode recap: What a Girl Wants  Enjoy!

Tue, Oct. 9th, 2007, 08:59 am
i'm quitting the band to go solo

So I've been thinking about leaving Reality TV Rules and getting my own blog. I don't like having to wait to get my stuff posted, especially when it takes all day sometimes. I stay up late to write those! Why bother if they don't get posted until 7pm the next night? And a couple of weeks ago someone hacked the site and they hacked my story. Nothing was done until like 6pm, and I had to repost my recap here. My recap was the only one affected but no one told me that they were working on it or anything. And if I got my own blog I could use whatever language I wanted. I can regulate spoilers and we could be snarky in the comments because I don't mind snark. Mostly though, I'm annoyed because I tried to get people to plan a gathering so we could all meet in person. And I was told that Gypsy was more important than I was, so we should plan the event around her vacation schedule, and that I shouldn't care where we go because hanging out with people is more important, so even if we don't leave the hotel I should be OK with that. And since we're planning the trip around Gypsy, I shouldn't care that it's during school, I should just take time off because no one else has a problem with it. I don't like being told that I should shut up and inconvenience myself because no one else minds and other people take precedence. So fine then.

I don't like to be told I don't care enough about this trip since I'm the one who bumped the topic so everyone would remember we were trying to do something. Especially since I'm the only one who still writes recaps for that site and gets people to visit so they get ad money. But I know if I had a blog that everyone from here would follow me over there, and Patrick could write the TAR recaps he's been dying to write, because Jonathan refuses to give them up even though he hasn't written any in years.

Right after I mentioned it to Patrick, that I was unappreciated even though I did a ton of work for them so I was going to leave, I turned in my Top Chef recap. And it just happened to get posted early that morning, and Di just happened to post a thank you for all my work, which just happened to be in the general forum, that more people read. Patrick insists that he didn't do anything, but I only about 90% believe him. Also I am still seriously thinking about leaving. I'm going to call it "My monkey could do that" and we could talk about reality TV but also shows like Heroes and Chuck that are awesome. It'll be sweet.

Sun, Sep. 16th, 2007, 07:21 pm
crow tastes bad

So, I've found this website, TV Links, which is a British site, and it has hundreds of episodes of all kinds of TV shows, cartoons, anime, and movies too. A lot of it is recent; the really recent stuff all has subtitles. I guess that's how they get away with posting it on the internet. I was bored and browsing the list of movies to see if there was anything interesting, and there it was. 


Kim told me about this movie and it sounded pretty lame. "There's these people, and they're trapped in this maze, and all the rooms are cubes, but they're booby-trapped and stuff! And they have to escape! It's so awesome!"  "Wow, sounds pretty stupid."  "YOU'RE stupid! Cube is the best movie ever!!"  "Really? Cause Audra said she saw it and it sucked, and she couldn't believe there was a sequel."  "Your friends don't know anything! They probably like Sandra Bullock!" And so forth.

Eventually I looked it up on Wikipedia and it still sounded like it probably was a piece of shit movie, although it's got some good math in it, and good math is automatically a couple of bonus points. But there are good movies, and movies that are so bad they swing back around into awesome, but Cube didn't sound like it would swing back around. The sequel is called Cube 2: Hypercube, for God's sake. Plus, I probably would never find it anywhere.

Now I'm bored, and looking for something to watch, and there it is. Staring me in the face, and I won't have to pay for it, and there are no excuses this time. So...I watched it. And it pains me to say this.

It didn't totally suck ass.

Let me make it perfectly clear that it is NOT the best movie ever, and as I suspected it was bad but not awesomely bad. I mean, it wasn't as awesomely bad as Snakes on a Plane, but it was better than Pulp Fiction. (Yes, I hated Pulp Fiction, I turned it off in the middle. I was bored.) The math thing was cool and the characters were kind of crazy so it was interesting. And now after years of mocking Kim for liking this movie I have to admit it's not the worst movie ever, which is what I had been telling her. But, I am going to be a big person and admit that I was wrong about Cube totally sucking.

Thu, Sep. 13th, 2007, 05:01 pm
Top Chef 9/12/07--Snacks on a Plane summary

Previously on Top Chef: This season’s version of the gas station challenge involved $10 and one aisle of a discount supermarket. Malarkey introduced the guest judge to the wonders of Spam, and won the chance to lead up the team for the Elimination challenge, which also involved budgets. And a boat. Rather than take charge, Malarkey let people do whatever they felt like and it was kind of a disaster. Casey ended up winning, and Howie (who made two appetizers due to not serving anything during the Quickfire) ended up going home. But not before he tried to quit and was told in no uncertain terms that the judges are in charge. Yes, Howie said “I quit”, and the judges said “We make the decisions around here. Howie, please pack your knives and go.”

At 6am for some reason the camera people are wandering the penthouse. That’s because Padma is sneaking in to yell and drag the covers off people and wake them up. Heh. She’s super perky and annoying and demanding breakfast. CJ loves it. He starts talking about glee and his dreams coming true. “Padma shines brighter than the sun.” Hee. She has a surprise for them. Malarkey (I think) hopes it’s breakfast. But Dale knows that it’s more likely that they have to make breakfast for her. And he’s right. Dale is smart. This is the “Breville blender breakfast”. I almost don’t want to buy any of this product placement garbage. They have 20 minutes to make food. Sara talks about people’s sleeping wear and how Casey is in a robe and CJ‘s shirt is kind of ripped up (Kmanpat: “What? Who ripped off CJ‘s shirt? I wanted to do that!”).

Hung knocks over a glass bottle full of truffle oil to start the challenge. He denies that he did anything, and he’s so focused that he doesn’t notice anything, blah blah blah. That’s not OK when people don’t have shoes on. No one cleans it up. Dale knows breakfast dishes, but they take like 4 hours and a real kitchen, not 20 minutes and a toy burner. Hung is making steak and eggs, which is “traditional American“. Whatever. He has booze for Padma. Sara also says that Padma likes alcohol. Oh, you all knew Padma was a boozer. Casey is using her blender to make salsa. It looks brown and not good, and also I personally like my salsa to be chunkier. She almost slips on the oil. CJ says women like crepes and he doesn’t know or care why. (Kmanpat: “Hey! I like crepes! …Oh yeah.”)

CJ has a blueberry, date, and mascarpone shake, and strawberry and cream crepes. The shake looks good. I want CJ to make me breakfast. He says something about his dish having “girl power” and then “If there was another Spice Girl she’d be Crepe Spice.” Sara has French toast with egg (“egg in a hole”), proscuitto, and some grapefruit. Casey serves grapefruit, French toast with salsa, spinach and an egg. She admits she doesn’t cook at home. Hung has presented steak and eggs. The shake has papaya, banana and Grand Marnier. Padma kind of chokes, but I think it‘s because she’s telling him she‘s not a fan of steak and eggs but likes his dish. Dale serves ham, apple and onion frittata. For some reason he says the Midwest breakfast is all about salt and bacon. Malarkey has made lobster and poached eggs with smoked salmon and some tomatoes and olives, with a blackberry, raspberry, and banana smoothie. Except the seeds are still there. Ha.

Padma asked if they had fun, and CJ is all, yeah, except when Hung broke the oil. But Hung has the last laugh because she liked his food and also the booze. Sara is great also. They she says she’s going to pick the person who really used the blender to “make something that hit all parts of my palate“ (barf) so Hung wins. Dale interviews that he knows the booze helped, but also that Padma liked steak and eggs for the first time. He wins her new cookbook, Tangy, tart, hot, and sweet. “Tangy tart”, hee. Also she pretends that he might collaborate with her on the new recipes. Then she gives them the news that Top Chef is hitting the road, and the last stop is the finale in Aspen. So no more Miami? Hung gets to pass out the tickets, and quickly they discover they are going to New York. For some reason they don’t open the tickets as Hung passes them out, I guess so they can do it all together. Stupid. Lots of cheering. Dale discusses taking it one day at a time: his goal used to be top 6, and now it‘s top 4. Casey also discusses how proud she is. Pretty much everyone else makes comments about Miami and how New York is cool. Oh wait, CJ also talks about how he wants to make the best food possible.

Upon exiting the jetway Padma is there to meet them. Haha! It begins. Somehow she’s gotten clearance to actually get into the terminal. She tells them that in order to get to Manhattan they have to get through the next Elimination challenge which is taking place in the airport. I love the evilness of this show. It’s like when Project Runway went to Paris and Angela had to turn around and get back on a plane. They get put up in an airport hotel and they have to wistfully look at New York proper from the windows.

The next day they all end up in a hangar, with those food service carts they use on the actual plane. Everyone gets to wear those classy cloth showercap things. Padma is wearing hers wrong; you’re supposed to put all your hair inside the cap. Padma starts talking about airplane food, and Gerry McLoughlin, the executive chef of the airline whose name I am not mentioning, is there to help them plan a hot airplane entrée. Malarkey doesn’t even know what actual airline food is because he‘s never sat in “the front“. They have to make it packagable, and they’ll serve it to judges and “travel experts”. I think I can avoid saying the name of the airline, actually. Take that, Bravo advertising! They get examples of good first class food, and how it’s packaged for transport. Their dishes can only be a couple of inches high, and they have to use the oven for 10 minutes. This challenge is reminding me of the microwave challenge from season 1. Make a dish, package it, and hope it survives reheating without getting overcooked. They have got 2 hours to do everything. Hung, as winner, picks Chilean sea bass, and no one else can use it. He says that it’s almost impossible to dry out. Dale is making filet, CJ, halibut, Malarkey is making New York strip steak (wait for the seafood) and lobster & potato hash (there it is). There is a lot of running around because they didn’t take a lot of time to look around and figure out where things are in the kitchen. There aren’t a lot of burners. CJ can’t find a can opener so he’s hacking at a can with a huge knife.

Tom has joined them in the kitchen to investigate. He tells Hung that fish is the last food he would order on a plane. Tom tries to ask him what is challenging about this, and Hung is like, people are moving my pans around. That is challenging. CJ is happy because he gets to wear his lovely hairnet. But he’s thinking about the time limitations. Casey is making veal medallions and making sure her pieces of food are uniform. Sara is searing salmon. She talks to Tom for a bit but then ditches him. Tom knows that there is a limited amount of space in the kitchen and some of them are freaking out. Meat is more forgiving in terms of not overcooking it, so he thinks that those chefs are better prepared for the challenge. Malarkey is looking for CJ, and can’t figure out if he’s done or not. He and Dale bitch because Hung is done and isn’t helping anyone finish and he‘s not a team player. It‘s not a team challenge. Hung is like, CJ didn’t ask me for help, so I cleaned my station. Dale talks about Hung’s integrity, but he’s not judged on integrity. I mean, I think he should have helped out too, but why not go ahead and let him be an asshat? At this point, it’s every man for himself.

After they package their dishes the chefs troop off to a hanger, where there is a jet. I guess they’re actually going on a flight? Jimmy Canora, who is from the Congress of Chefs for the airline, is the guest judge, and also Tony Bourdain. Woo! Tom has a dumb hat on. The “travel experts” are all airline pilots and stewards. Nice. So the plane is not actually in flight but they have to use the plane galley. I wonder how all those people enjoyed sitting in the stationary plane. At least they’re in first or business class. Dale and Malarkey fumble around. Malarkey has strip steak with a lobster and purple potato hash. The steaks are huge and tender (Dale makes Flintstones comments), but the lobster sucks. Padma says her steak is overcooked. CJ helps Malarkey serve, and Casey helps Dale. He’s got steak au poivre with demi-glace, asparagus, and leeks, and shrimp with zucchini and celery. Cooked celery, bleh. The demi-glace is rich. Tony says he likes the pepper but it’s pretty strong. People are tasting each other’s food, but Dale was one portion short. Uh oh. Hung and Sara are up next. Both of them have seafood. Sara has seared salmon, fennel and coriander, with leek fondue and spinach, and also fig cous cous. It seems well received. She is sure some of them got away over or undercooked. Of course Tony and Tom got those. Hung serves his Chilean sea bass with tomato sauce, baby squash and onions. Casey mentions that she helped Hung out also. For some reason it sounds like she’s making sure in confessional that they are fully aware of how helpful she was. Everyone loves it including the judges. CJ tells us he got Malarkey to help him serve and “bang out [his] plates.” (Kmanpat: “Wow…those galleys are really spacious…” Me: “If your next sentence contains the word ‘banging’ I’m revoking your talking privileges.” Kmanpat: *thinks for a long time* I want to help CJ…plate…his broccolini in the galley. Oh, take that, I didn‘t say ‘banging!’”) CJ’s dish is pan seared halibut on toasted farro, and roasted broccolini with breadcrumbs and mint vinaigrette. It’s tough to eat and it’s not good. Tony makes a comment about finding it in Bob Marley‘s house. And he can’t eat more than one bite. Uh oh. Casey has Dale to help her with her veal medallions with crimini and apple brandy. Also a cauliflower gratin with gruyere. Tony and Tom really like it. But Jimmy says they usually stay away from things like cauliflower. Padma says you want something that’s “gentle on the tummy.“ Cauliflower causes too much gas? I don’t know. Padma tells them that the judges will see them later. Everyone except Malarkey and Hung talks about nerves. Well, Sara, Casey, and Dale are a lot less confident than CJ. Which worries me something fierce.

Commercials. Because I have to rewatch this show to catch everything, and get to bed at a decent hour so I can be functional in the morning, last week when they had the sneak preview for “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style”, I missed it. I tried to tape it later, but every time I tried, Bravo’s schedule was wrong. Thanks a lot, Bravo. Starting a thread for your sneak preview on your message boards, with the stupid cute “this is why you should read our schedule”. It doesn’t help when your schedule is WRONG. Sorry. It’s the rewatch, I’m tired, and this is a pet peeve. If anyone actually knows when the Karen Vito episode will be on again, I’d appreciate a heads-up. Thanks.

Only a couple of people had great food. Dale’s steak was cooked well, if a little bit spicy. But he didn’t make enough plates. We’ve seen that this is never a factor. Malarkey’s lobster was rubbery (that sounds dirty). The steak was not consistent. Casey cooked really well, as did Hung. Tony says the obligatory “this is Top Chef, not Top Cook (or whatever)“. Seriously, I think it’s in their contracts that someone has to say it at least once a season. He feels Casey is creative and is truly a chef. Tony couldn’t eat his portion of Sara’s salmon, and the cous cous was bad. Tom said it was horrid. For some reason they compare CJ’s broccolini to “garbage” and also that it was really burnt. I didn’t think it was that bad. (Kmanpat: “I’d eat CJ’s broccolini any day.”) Padma goes to get Hung, Casey, and Dale. Now you see why I am worried. These three are top, of course. Dale admits he miscounted containers. Tom looks disgusted for some reason. He screwed up, OK? People screw up. Casey was very creative. Hung picked the best protein, because it‘s so hard to overcook. Casey wins again. Interesting. She wins two round trip tickets in business class. Nice. That will go with her computer from last week.

Loser Gong time. But first Casey has to make sure people pay attention to her a little bit longer by getting all verklempt and saying she’s had to send in the losers before. Sara knows some of her fish didn’t get cooked properly. After Tony gets his comments in (the salmon was in “cat food” territory) Padma tells her the cous cous was bad and gives her reassurement that she can do better. CJ says his dish wasn’t great. Then he pauses and pretends to be done talking. Tony tells him that it was a poor decision to make it, and he doesn’t think that he should have ever served the broccolini, at all, even if it was in a prison. CJ thinks it was a good dish, just not done well, but although he is worried he doesn’t think this dish should send him home. Malarkey is surprised to be there. The lobster was like doll heads, apparently. Guess who made that comment. Malarkey says he gets slammed every time he makes lobster, and he promises not to make it anymore. Jimmy calls it a good idea but very poorly executed. Malarkey, like CJ, also doesn’t think this dish should send him home.

Tony is worried that Malarkey didn’t know why he was there. Tom says terrible food is terrible food. Then he slams the cous cous again, and Padma is like, OK, like she’s about to say, shut up about the cous cous, but it’s cut off. CJ says that he knows they’re not attacking their character, but only giving criticism of the food, and thinks he and Sara are below Malarkey. Tony is hung up on the broccolini, that CJ let it out of the kitchen, and Tom thinks it’s the worst dish that’s been served this whole competition. Ouch. In Tony’s blog he says that the mint oil on top of the poorly-cooked halibut tasted like toothpaste. And also that the portions of broccolini that he and Tom got were totally burnt and dried out. CJ says “One of us is going home. Miss you guys, love you.” Nooooo!

Tom berates everyone again, but he does clarify that CJ’s broccolini was the worst dish in the entire competition. As in, all three seasons. CJ goes home. *whimper* He thanks everyone, and says he’s learned a lot, and Padma wishes him luck and looks forlorn. Goddammit. He’s looking forward to the future, getting his own place, and stuff. He says that first though, he wants to sit down and have a beer with Tony and talk shit about his broccolini. We’ll buy you a beer, too.

Next time: “the ultimate French culinary test”. Everyone freaks out. There is a distinct lack of good sound bites now that CJ is gone. (Kmanpat: *sniff*)

P.S. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that people were eagerly awaiting my recap and are disappointed that it got hacked and is gone. You guys are awesome!

Sat, Aug. 18th, 2007, 09:13 am
music quiz

I stole this from Patrick's facebook, but the people who are most likely to respond are not on facebook. but I linked to it so it'll work. Good luck, ha.

Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!!!
(you have to get song and band for it to count)

1. When your day is long, and the night, the night is yours alone.
2. I've been looking for someone, between the fire and the flame.
3. I got a new age girl (tell us what she's like), environmentalist girl (does she ride a bike?).
4. Once upon a time, once when you were mine, I remember skies, mirrored in your eyes.
5. Brass monkey, that funky monkey.
6. Freezin', rests his head on a pillow of concrete, again.
7. There are two things I can't stand, one of them is your mom.
8. Bluish gray, suns don't rise, bathing deep in stolen dreams from borrowed times.
9. The waiting drove me mad, you're finally here and I'm a mess.
10. Pressure, pushing down on me.
11. So I ran faster, but it caught me here, yes my loyalties turned.
12. Morning smiles, like the face of a newborn child.
13. Josie, you're my source of most frustration, forget when I don't meet expectations.
14. La da da dee da da da da, la da da dee da da da da, Be my lover wanna be my lover.
15. Baby you're beat up, broken down, every man knows your name in the whole damn town.
16. Hey mister, where you headed? Are you in a hurry? Need a lift to happy hour.
17. Early in the mornin', risin' to the street, light me up that cigarette and I slap shoes on my feet.
18. My friends assures me, it's all or nothing, I am not worried, I am not overly concerned. 
19. Who the hell are you to tell me, what I am and what's my master plan?
20. You say, I only hear what I want to, you say, I talk so all the time, so.
21. I don't know if you can, but can you get an owner for Ons, that's O-N-S Junior Market?
22. Look at how futile this is, so weak, so fragile, so torn. 
23. It's not about another love affair, I'm looking for that special girl to share.
24. Sometimes like a dream you come, cut from the same cloth.
25. If you could only see the way she loves me, then maybe you would understand.

Sat, Jul. 21st, 2007, 07:09 pm
hidden finds and so forth

1. In Maryland Plaza there is a cupcake shop. It's called The Cupcakery, and it's back behind the main shops. If you go to the side street you would take to get to the Chase's parking structure, it's behind the main row of shops on Maryland Ave. It's kind of pricey, in that one cupcake is $2.25, but they were really really good, especially after I brought home the chocolate with mocha buttercream and had it in the fridge for a couple of hours. Yum.

2. At Target they were selling a two disk DVD double feature: Men in Tights and Spaceballs, $14 for both. Classic. And totally worth it. But I watched them both and I discovered that somehow, Men in Tights, the more recent movie, was more dated.

Spaceballs spends a lot of time mocking Star Wars, which is something that most people have seen and can relate to. Even someone who is younger than the movie itself (and the movie is 20 years old, y'all) has probably seen or at least heard of Star Wars so it's still entertaining. There's also plenty of jokes about merchandising (still funny) and also jokes like, "She's gone from suck to blow!" which are timeless. But Men in Tights was relevant to a certain time period (which would be 1997) and a lot of the jokes are set in that timeframe. I mean, the whole movie is based on that stupid Prince of Thieves movie, which wasn't that great and so probably anyone under the age of 18 hasn't ever even heard of it. So there's plenty of stuff that isn't as funny, like Patrick Stewart's totally fake Scottish accent, and "Unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent." Did you know that in other countries, where they dubbed the movie, they changed that line? Because non-native speakers probably wouldn't get it, so in some places they make fun of how much Costner would demand to be paid, and in some they said "I don't dance with wolves", which is pretty good. But Reebok Air Pumps? Home Alone? L'Eggs pantyhose? White Men Can't Jump? To their credit, the song "Men in Tights" and a kick line are never not funny. Plus, Cary Elwes. He just looks better in a tunic with a sword. I know he's been in other films, modern films, but he just doesn't look right to me. It's weird.

Alright, that's enough of my ranting. I'm grumpy that apparently UPS delivered my copy of Harry Potter but didn't bother to leave a note, or possibly even to check to see if I'm home or not, so now it's sitting in the leasing office until Monday. Bastards.

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